Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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