update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
