And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
