lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
