In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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