Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
