do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
