i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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