Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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