the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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