Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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