worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
