my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
