I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize