I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
