I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
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