Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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