dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
