my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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