I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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