She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
