who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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