Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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