I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
