i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
