I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
