I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
