wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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