i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
