I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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