i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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