yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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