you're like a bully in the Christmas story
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's official drugs can't kill me
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
