That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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