You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize