I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
