I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm at about main and main street
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
