life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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