Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
