Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
