He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
