I'm jealous of your bromance
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
