Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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