My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
