i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
