is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
