i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
