Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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