Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize