She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
