We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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