she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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