just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
