butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
