and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
