and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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