bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
