I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
