We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize