You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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