Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
