the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
