im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
