bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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