At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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