Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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